"The Battle of Kamino. Part II."

Written and Directed by:
Paul Burton.
Fiction by: Paul Burton and (mostly) Anthony Hummerston.
STARRING:

Karnov,   Jimmi,   Niall,   Rojic,    Ta'alan,  Mama
And special guest stars:
Hen3ry , Joe-9T, Trio and 'Blinkie.'
as the droids.

AND
Storm Cutter, Thier spaceshipskip.

Niall looks around. “Okay?” He asks. Ta’alan is suddenly nervous. “Er.…I dunno….”

“This is battle, kid.” Behind Niall, through a porthole, a stroke of lightning flashes. Ta’alan is not reassured. “What if we die here?”

Niall reiterates. It’s battle. –In fact it’s war.” He puts his hand lightly on the teenagers arm. Thunder roars to punctuate the point. “Sometimes you win….” The wind howls around outside. “….Sometimes you lose….” Rain lashes at the window, obscuring everything to be seen outside. Niall shrugs, “-And sometimes it rains!”

“Lovely pathetic fallacy.” Jimmi says, with feeling.

Karnov pitches in. “The wisest gardener respects the audacity of a stone.”

Ta’alan is suddenly cheered. “Thanks Karnov, that helps.”

Joe-9T doesn’t understand. “How can that help?”

“‘Coz I’d rather die screaming, than listen to any more of Karnov’s philosophy!”

Jimmi offers to sing a rousing song. “How about I sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic?”

Joe-9T offers some guidance. “Word of advice, Jimmi. –Never sing in front of an assassin droid with a gun in its hand.”

Jimmi’s mouth shuts quicker than a womp rat trap.

The two squads advance. Karnov’s on the right-hand side ramp and Niall’s on the left. Despite synchronising watches, Karnov’s squad are a few seconds ahead. She signals the clone troopers and they cross the threshold and lob grenades at the assembled battle droids on the bridge. Six sharp cracks later and the six grenades manage to take out twelve battle droids. Technicians dive for cover or grab small arms. This diversion gives Niall’s squad time to get in position for a more controlled attack. Their better-placed grenades manage to destroy six droids and damage two more. Niall’s sergeant manages to drop his grenade on Niall’s foot. Niall doesn’t use the force, but equal measures of panic and desperation. He chips the grenade higher before punting it into the outfield. A droid catches it, but as it settles into the robot’s hand, it explodes destroying the droid and two more besides!

On the left flank, a clone advises Mama. “Roll to the console.” She shoots him. –Correction – She shoots him a look of pure venom. The clone cannot understand whether it is the suggestion to roll or the reversal of role. –After all this is technically telling a superior officer what to do! In the end, as blaster bolts come their way, Mama shrugs and hustles over to the console as fast as she is able. – Though in a later review it might be called more of a waddle. The second she gets there and raises a blaster to destroy the console, a shot from the other side does the job for her. She is showered with a fountain of shards and sparks. She curses something about messing her hair. She pops up suddenly from behind the console and shoots two technicians. “No power in the galaxy messes Mama’s hair and lives!” She tells the clones, who aren’t in the least bit listening -or indeed interested!

Niall’s squad pushes forward. A Twi’lek woman treads softly down some stairs and engages Niall. – Not that kind of engagement! She ignites a blue lightsabre and advances. He ignites his own, and meets her. He gestures to the clones to watch his back, but as one steps forward, a bodyguard from the raised dais in the centre of the room makes a telling shot, and the clone falls back dead. The sound of lightsabres distracts a droid. Joe-9T uses this opportunity to express his displeasure and Sarah-Jane’s pleasure. In a massive burst from the gun, the enemy droid is plastered all over the rear wall. There is nothing but a pair of smoking feet and a washer left. A technician picks up the hot ring of metal. He turns to his superior officer. “Look sir! Droid!” This happens to be his last words as Joe-9T swings the gun in a lazy arc and blasts him, another technician and the officer for good measure!

Behind Karnov’s group, technicians start shooting into the ranks of the clones. Jimmi snaps around and with a wave of the arm uses the force to lift one of the attackers over the safety rail and into the air, only to let the man drop due to gravity. The man manages a proper scream in the process.

One of the bridge crew, an Arkanian with long straggly hair advances on Karov’s troops. He stops short of a console with an astromech at it. A second later, blue lighting sprays from the pale man’s hands. This fries the unfortunate droid and the console. The tendrils of force lighting stretch out toward Karnov, who steps aside and ignites her lightsabre. The unfortunate astromech explodes. In a sudden burst of speed, Karnov runs for the Arkanian, who defends wildly. The captain of the ship, a Kel Dor stands and fires at Mama. –He misses. The clones manage to destroy three more battle droids. Three clones back up Karnov by shooting the Arkanian. He merely lifts a hand and absorbs the blasts. His jagged teeth show as he snarls back at them.

Niall’s clones are making steady progress, keeping in better formation, and working more methodically. The enemy are slowly whittled down. Rojic comes in behind them, shooting very carefully and injuring one technician very slightly. He gets angry at himself and kills the next one with a reckless shot! A Devaronian and the Bothan try to get a shot on Joe-9T, but lead him too much and miss. Joe-9T stops stock still and shoots steadily back. The Devaronian gets panicked at the impassive face of Joe-9T and puts a shot into the ceiling. Sarah Jane continues with her happy –but deadly – chatter.

Just as our heroes think that this might be a battle won, a droid manages to kill one of Karnov’s clones. A Nikto on the rail behind Mama manages to part her hair. She spins around, her blaster searching for the impudent attacker. The Nikto shoots again and another two shots miss Mama – The biggest target in the room!

Niall and the Twi’lek are evenly matched. His sure strokes are met by her defensive jousting. Their lightsabres lock, and she seethes at him. “How can you create slaves to die for you?”

“They are individuals!” Niall counters, “Bred for the defence of the Republic!”

They trade blows. Even more intensive now. The woman taunts Niall. “Have I piqued your conscience?” Niall gets an eyeful of her considerable cleavage. “Not the only place I’ve peeked!” He jokes.

Behind the Twi’lek woman Mama is playing hide and seek with her attacker. She is in plain sight. She has the Nikto in her sights. The Nikto was partly hidden behind a stanchion. Two shots ring out From Mama’s gun, and find the Nikto. Boring two holes straight through him, he is dead before he hits the floor. His once-proud body slips and rolls down the stairs. Ta’alan gains some confidence from this move, and does the same to a technician on his side. This goes some way toward clearing a path for Rojic, who is keen to get started on slicing the main battle computer. A Colicoid on the dais starts hissing and spitting venom. Ta’alan doesn’t think that it is polite to spit, so he fires off a long burst at the creature. Several bolts connect, but the thick chitinous hide absorbs their deadly impact. It hisses louder, but won’t be drawn away from the General, who is bravely crouching behind it.

Niall and the woman are getting introduced at last. “I’m Sayara. Defender of the New Order.” The woman says between attacks. Niall is more circumspect. “I let my lightsabre do the talking!” He says with a grunt, pushing her onto the back foot. Her reply of “Oh?” Becomes an, “Arrrrrrrggggghhhh!” As Niall sweeps the lightsabre across her shoulder and slices just above the two delicious melons. “Sayonara Sayara!” He grins at her. Her mouth opens to speak, but is suddenly devoid of breath. “Dooku was right….” She manages to whisper as her two halves fall to the ground. Niall nods a small salute as a tribute to an enemy felled. With the force he lifts her lightsabre and clips it to his belt for later. A shot from the Colicoid hitting Ta’alan refocuses his mind on the fight. Rojic kills another technician, now joining the trend of shooting holes right through people. In front of the dais, the air is filled with blaster bolts. Two more clones are killed, but in reply the others only manage to wound the officers.

One of the remaining battle droids screams, “More white hats! Blast ‘em!” Before being dismantled with a blaster bolt. Mama moves up to a column and manages to wound the Kel Dor captain. They trade shots, Mama keeps behind the column. “No time for a pillar fight!” Jimmi jokes. “At least I’ve got the padding for it!” She replies. The Colicoid bodyguard takes a flurry of shots from Ta’alan. It shoots back at Niall, who calmly deflects the shot right back at the creature. “Line drive! Right at the pitcher!” Jimmi jokes, keeping morale up, and shooting a technician to ram the point home. Joe-9T and Sarah-Jane are cutting a devastating channel through the defenders, blasting the Kel Dor right across the dais, and narrowly missing the Bothan in the process. The clones regroup, and press their attack, pouring fire into the General. He manages a wild shot or two before going down under sustained fire. “The General is dead!” Jimmi whoops. Karnov is having trouble getting a blow on the Arkanian. As she attacks, the man keeps sidestepping the blows, raking her with force-lighting, parrying with a techstaff and generally slowing her advance. Clone troopers come close to aid Karnov, and are fried in a blast of force energy. Ta’alan turns his attention to the technicians on the balcony, and in four shots manages to kill four. A shot from the top of the computer core brings the teenager up short. He squeezes off another shot and there is a yelp. The Colicoid leaps down from the dais, now that the general is no more. In a savage attack it sees off two more clones, thinning their numbers on the right flank. Joe-9T isn’t fast enough to respond to the leap and all his shots go wide. Jimmi has sensed someone on top of the computer core. In the force it is clear that there is a woman up there. Jimmi extends an arm and tries to use the fore to drag her from her vantage point. She clings on, but it spoils her shot on Rojic who is flapping carefully along the walkway.

A Lepi appears at the rail. Niall slices two technicians on the way up there. “Hello bunny!” He taunts the creature. Karnov has focussed her mind, and forces her opponent back. The Arkanian isn’t beaten however, and attacks again with the crackling techstaff. The clones turn on the Lepi, who is firing from the rail.

A dozen clones firing on one creature is more than enough to kill it. This clears the way for Rojic, who flaps up to the console. Jimmi and Ta’alan clear the sides of technicians. The Balosar woman -the ship’s lead technician- surrenders.

Niall leaps from the rail and into the fray, dodging blaster bolts. He whips out a blaster and takes careful aim on the Devaronian. The impudent imp-like man keeps dodging numerous blaster bolts from Joe-9T. Niall takes him out in one shot!

Mama keeps firing on the Colicoid, who refuses to die. Ta’alan shoots from the rail, and Joe-9T moves up to assist. With a volley from the clones it finally goes down. Karnov and the Arkanian are still trading blows. The Arkanian hisses through broken teeth. The savagery of his attacks contrast with calm determination from Karnov. A technician behind the Arkanian keeps the faith, too fearful to abandon his master. He takes shots at Karnov, but misses. Karnov manages a glance at the technician. The Arkanian is distracted for a few milliseconds, wondering what is going on behind him. Karnov uses the opportunity to strike. Blows rain in. Her opponent starts up the force lightning again, but cannot attack and defend at the same time. With her mind focussed on the fight, Karnov runs her opponent through. The hate flashes in his eyes, but fades. Karnov removes the blade of the lightsabre and takes a step forward. The lone technician takes one look at Karnov and surrenders.

Almost as swiftly as it began, the fight is over. Ta’alan and Jimmi wave their guns at the remaining technicians who step back from their stations. Jimmi calls for Rojic who covers the droids. The Balosar woman climbs down from the top of the computer core.

“I’ll come quietly,” She tells them, “After all, they’re not paying me enough.”

Joe-9T picks up half of Sayara. “Not paying you anything….”

Niall calls over, “Is that computer down yet?”

Rojic flaps over and starts pressing buttons, swiping screens and generally looking busy. “Well?” Niall calls, his voice tinged with desperation.

“Not yet….Maybe I’m not scared enough…..”

Joe-9T comes stomping up. “Funny how Sarah-Jane would like to join in this conversation….”

“Okay!” Rojic stars breathing hard. “Now I’m scared enough!”

His fingers fly on the keys, he flits from screen to screen. Niall’s holo-communicator beeps. A clone is calling for backup. “We’re under heavy fire!” The holo fizzes and pops. Blaster fire can be heard in the background. “Need backup!” The signal fades with a large amount of static, interference and a ‘fzzzzz….crackle pop!’

Niall trots over to the computer core. “Time’s up Rojic!”

Rojic protests. “A few more minutes….I’m still working on it!”

“Kory and Oona are in trouble. Their squad is pinned down.”

“But….”

Niall puts on his grim voice. “Step aside Rojic!” He half turns. Rojic flaps off hurriedly. Mama tosses Niall a satchel charge, which he places against the side of the computer. He waves everyone back and leaps over the rail. Everyone takes cover. Niall counts down rapidly. Five. Four. Three. Two. One….Er….More or less….” There is a loud low-frequency thud as the charge explodes, making a gaping hole in the computer. The bridge shakes and the front windows crack alarmingly.

Karnov slams a fist onto a communication console. “Droid control computer is down….You may commence your attack!”

A second later, the artillery from the city starts firing again, and several dozen L.A.A.T ships scramble from their launch pads.

They watch the assault from the cracked windscreens. Resistance is all but gone, and the clone troopers secure an easy victory. Reports start coming in and they start tending wounded clones, escorting prisoners and attending to the dead.

Even after half an hour, Rojic is still cursing. “A few seconds more!”

“We didn’t have a few seconds….” A familiar voice says. They turn around to see Kory supported by two clones. Niall hardly dare ask. “Oona?”

“She’s okay….On a stretcher but she’ll live.”

Joe-9T pipes up. “If any of my parts can be used to rebuild her….”

Jimmi is surprised. “I didn’t expect you to offer, Joe. It’s really sweet of you.”

“Nonsense. The more homicidal droid parts spread around the galaxy the better!”

Niall turns to him. “Touch her with your droid parts, and I’ll see if my lightsabre can cut you into half-inch wafers.”

Karnov adds, “And I’ll cut them into quarter-inch wafers.”

Kory stops them. “Reena is with them. She stopped a blaster bolt, but she’s okay. I don’t think she’ll leave her sister. Kima Venn is pretty beat up, but walking wounded.”

Ta’alan asks the last question. “Clones?”

Karnov consults the reports. “We lost about seventy…..But that’s only around ten percent….We don’t know the final count.”

Starman turns away. “It could have been a lot worse.” He says, “But every clone is a brother.”

“We’ll make sure they get a good send-off. They’re heroes of the Republic, after all.” Jimmi tells him, easing the burden a tiny bit.

A medical evacuation team arrives to take the injured away. Rojic busies himself ordering the remaining clones about. “I say, could you just gather all this stuff up….Pile up anything of value….The guns, any droid bits, the Astomechs especially.” The clones stand stock still. “We’re soldiers. We are not big game hunters, nor are we scavengers.” One of them tells him, omitting the ‘sir’ at the end.

Rojic flaps around, but there is no-one to help him. In the end, he tags an Astromech, and then gathers up guns and carbines. “I suppose these are the only things worth having.” He grumbles.

“Oooh! I like this carbine.” Karnov says, almost snatching it from Rojic. Niall comes over on an intercept course, “I’m good with carbines and I feel the need for an upgrade.” He tells Karnov.

“But you already have one.” Karnov protests.

“But I want this one.”

“I saw it first!”

“But you already have a lightsabre!”

“But I wants it! Mine! My precious!”

They argue a bit. They argue a bit more. In the end Karnov snaps, “But you only want it for a Roon stone….And you’ve got one already!”

Niall counters. “Ta’alan’s got two!”

Jimmi sniggers. Karnov and Niall glare at one another in a most un-Jedi like way. In the end Mama breaks them up. “If you two can’t share, then neither of you shall have it!” She seethes at them. This shuts them up. Ta’alan has helped himself to the General’s blaster. “Judging by the dual sights I’d say that this is set up for vary long range.” He says to Joe-9T who concurs. “Actually I was wondering if I should upgrade Sarah-Jane. I might even go up to twelve with her.” Joe-9T tells him.

“Twelve?”

“Yeah. Eleven isn’t quite homicidal enough! –I should have taken that Colicoid in about three shots!”

Ta’alan holds up a piece of the creature. Two inches of Chitinous hide. –You could make bulkhead doors with this stuff!”

Some hours later, they are back on board the command ship, Champion. They have been bathed de-briefed and are enjoying Bantha steak and Bothan brandy with the colonel.

“To our brothers.” Starman says, proposing a toast. “They will be remembered. We will commit their bodies to the seas of Kamino….But we will never forget!”

Later that day, the battle is over. The Trade Federation is on the run. Several ships drop from hyperspace, and soon after there is an award ceremony for the heroes. Starman is first up, his promotion assured. He now sports the rank of captain. Key members of the assault are awarded their medals, an our heroes each receive the Order of the Great Storm. Ta’alan can’t wait to pin it to his wall!

“It’s for your chest….” Jimmi hisses at him. The Kaminoan Prime Minister, Lama Su presents the medals. Afterward there is a more formal banquet, where they can meet the president in person. Admiral Kardashala spends much time in discussion with generals Skywalker and Kenobi, who were defending on another front. Niall goes over to meet Kenobi. He is about to say a few words, when he feels a hand on his arm. “I think the general has heard the news by now.” A kind voice says. Niall turns around to see Mistress Luce guiding him away. “Best not make a scene.” She advises.

Jedi Mistress Tisha Luce -With fetching earrings!

“I think you misunderstand, mistress,” Niall says, “I wasn’t going to gloat, merely exchange a few pleasantries.”

“In which case I apologise. –But he won’t be going anytime soon. The retreating forces destroyed many docking rings, so swift passage from Kamino is reserved for the select few….But hey, how are you?”

“Good, thank you.”

“-And Oona?”

“Expected to make a full recovery.” Niall pauses, slightly embarrassed. He changes the subject. “I have something for you.”

He hands over the lightsabre liberated from Sayara “I’m sure this can go into the repository. She might have been misguided, but I sensed that she hadn’t strayed from the light side of the force.”

“Very well, I’ll return it.” She steers him away. “Just in case there is a disagreement with general Kenobi, I just wanted to say that I find you an honourable addition to the Jedi order.”

“Thank you.”

“We must go over your formal graduation sometime.”

Niall notices something. “Master Junn not here?”

“No. He threw a bit of a tantrum when he found out that Karnov was taking a padawan. It went along the lines of ‘Karnov? Take a padawan that she’s never even met? -Who does she think she is?’”

Niall can’t help smiling. Mistress Luce takes a good look at him. “I think you’ve come a long way, Niall. –Against all the odds. Oona too. – Your feelings for one another give you both strength. It is a lesson that some in the order might learn from.”

Niall isn’t so sure. “I think that the council and the traditions are too set in their ways to change any time soon.”

“I’ll drink to that! –Tea?”

“Thanks.”

The two of them settle down. Mistress Luce looks calmer then she has lately. “I don’t suppose you’ve thought of taking a padawan?”

“I’ve not long graduated. I thought I might give it some time.”

Mistress Luce laughs. “Once again you surprise me with your calmness!”

“I even surprise myself sometimes!”

She draws him in close, lowering her voice. “I suppose you know that your young Togruta has some sensitivity to the force?”

“I have had an inkling, but nothing to confirm it.” Niall says, letting go of a secret that he’s had for a week or so now.

“Maybe you could train him….”

“But he’s so old….A teenager cannot be taught the ways of the force.”

“That’s the council talking. You and I and Oona are good examples of why these traditions must be challenged if we are to adapt to the modern world.”

“But the council would never approve.” Niall says, sadly.

“Exactly! – Even more reason to do it. –Besides, a master has the final say in the choice of padawan.”

“But….” Niall starts to object.

“I’m not telling you to take him. -Indeed he might not want to become a Jedi. – But I’ll give you my complete backing if you were to chose him.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“After all, they said you could not be trained.”

“I will meditate on it mistress.”

“It’s Tisha now, remember?”

“Tisha. Yes. Sorry.”

The others have moved on into the next room for a speech by Lamma Su, leaving Niall and Mistress Luce alone. A moment passes between them.

Later, as they gather outside Storm Cutter, Jimmi, Niall and Karnov discuss Ta’alan in low voices. “If the lad wants to be trained, then I will find a master for him.” Niall tells the others. “I will adhere to the traditions,” Karnov counters, “-And advise against it. –But I won’t stand in anyone’s way.”

Jimmi is quiet. Niall prompts. “Jimmi?”

“I will teach him in telepathy and empathy, but I’ll not have a strict training regime. If I tutor him it will be on my terms and he will have to accept that.”

Niall calls Ta’alan over. He outlines what they know and the boy’s options. Ta’alan asks for some time to consider what is on offer. He retires to his room.

“I dunno. Training teenagers in the ways of the force. What ever will it be next?” Karnov asks, somewhat rhetorically.

“Times are changing Karnov. Times are changing.”

They walk up the ramp to Storm Cutter. Inside there is an argument going on.

“Times don’t change that much though!”

Once on board, Mama is berating Rojic who is berating Trio. “What did you do that for Rojic?”

“I simply thought that upgrading her laser range-finding eye would help her with fine-motor skills.”

“But you upgraded it with a Roon stone!”

“Precisely….And might I say, ‘precisely!’ She can detect distances within one ten-thousandth of an inch.”

“But she melted through my best whiskey glasses!”

“Well….It needs a bit of fine tuning….I’ll admit!”

“A bit?” Mama rages at him.

“Well….” Rojic starts to say, as he opens the door to a completely smoke-blackened room, and even more smoke-blackened Trio. “It was only a small inferno!”

There are several more minutes of Rojic berating. Finally after some heated words are exchanged, it starts to calm down.

“You know, the smell of acrid smoke throughout the ship has finally got rid of the smell of the Nexu droppings.” Karnov says.

“You might be right.” Niall agrees.

“Nexu?” Ta’alan asks.

“Yeah. We had a dozen. We tried selling them to Igbo, but he decided to give them back. –With interest.”

“I think his exact words were: ‘let them have it!’”

Ta’alan remembers something. “Did you know that Nexu dung in your garden stops lions from coming into it, and ...You know....Using it as a litter tray?”

Jimmi digests this information. “What do you use to stop Nexu crapping in your garden?”

“Er….Rancor dung?”

There is a pause as they all think about this.

Mama asks, “What do you do if there’s a Rancor in your garden….Possibly doing its business?”

“I dunno.”

“Thank your lucky stars it’s in your garden and not in your house!”

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Footnotes:

Is this the end of the series?